PBR Sells for $250 Mil due to Hipster Mass Consumption

PBR  Pabst Blue Ribbon

PBR Pabst Blue Ribbon

Hipster favorite PBR Sells for 250 Million

Recent news has arisen that the mass consumption of PBR by legions of like-minded, conformist hipsters has forced the brand into a position of ubiquity. This recent twist of fate is an ironic dagger to the heart of  self-proclaimed non-conformist hipster culture, who have previously embraced PBR as their weapon of choice against upper management (and work in general).

Who Is Buying Pabst Brewing Co. , Owner of PBR

Pabst Blue Ribbon is selling out to the mainstream, to food investor C. Dean Metropoulus, for a hefty sum of around $250,000,000. An  early story from beer-universe stated that Pabst Brewing Co was looking for 100 Million as a buyout cost.. Looks like sales from all these hipsters helped to up the ante for PBR.

Crain’s Chicago initially broke the story of a final sale, reporting that sales PBR & other brands under it’s ownership increased over 30% in the past year, figures that may have led Metropoulos’ desire to purchase this. That, or he has some hipster spawn for which he’s buying the company as a birthday present.

Brands Under Pabst Brewing Company

A few brands are effected by this sale, including all beer brands owned by Pabst Brewing Co. include :

  • Pabst Blue Ribbon ( PBR )
  • Olympia Genuine Draft ( OGD )
  • Old Style (a Cubs fan favorite)
  • Colt 45
  • Schlitz Malt Liquor
  • PBR Hipster Special

Other Features of the PBR Sellout

NBC Chicago has run a similar story on the epic ironic fail of hipster culture in pushing their beloved Pabst beer brand from obscurity to ubiquity, a self-defeating move that threatens the core fundamentals of an already-struggling hipster movement.

What the PBR Sellout Means to You & Your Hipsters

Crying Hipster Baby

Crying Hipster Baby

Not much, it just means you may find your local hipsters in a state of shock & dismay. The realization that their culture is crumbling beneath them means they may have to find another way to spend their parents’ money (hey maybe they’ll start buying expensive clothes that actually look good).

-HipsterSuck

Fuck Your Parade – The Hipster Cloud

Fuck Your Parade: Introducing the Hipster Cloud

"Fuck Your Parade" - The Hipster Cloud

"Fuck Your Parade" - The Hipster Cloud

“Fuck Your Parade” – Hipster Cloud

The Hispter Cloud is a smug motherfucker. Always being a Debbie Downer, screwing up everything in the name of sadistic elitism. He’ll rain on your parade and sling profanity in your face. “Fuck your Parade” is his slogan, and he is going to spew some sprinkles, rip some rain, and drop some drizzle all over your fun timez.

We’re not really sure if it is truly a ‘hipster’ cloud, but for now we’ll just say it is because we can. Not sure on the artist JX either, but he might be a hip person himself.

Origins of the “Fuck Your Parade” Hipster Cloud

The Hipster Cloud is a novel piece of Chicago street art / Chicago graffiti that can be found “Fucking your Parade”on the Southwest Corner of Lake and Desplaines Streets in downtown Chicago. The piece is drawn in permanent marker on one of the metal pillars holding up the Green Line El train.

The artist has tagged it as “JX” but we’ve never heard of him … he’s one clever mofo.

Hipster Spoof of Where the Wild Things Are

Here’s a great spoof on Where the Wild Things Are done by SecretSauce.tv …. Where the Dirty Hipsters Are!

Directed, Shot & Edited by ANDY SIGNORE

Written by ANDY SIGNORE & IAN WEINREICH

Titles by JOSH HALLOWAY

Music by SEAN MOTLEY

Max Wardrobe by CATINA FERRAINE

Starring…
CHARLIE TREPANY as Max
SUNNY PEABODY as Ira
AHREN BOULANGER as Carol
MELISSA STETTEN as Judith
SARA RAFTERY as Alex
ANDREW BLACKWOOD as Douglas

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