Who the fuck wrote this amazing piece of innane hilarity? someone please let us know!

The Petal Falls Twice

Transcription:

She slowly licked and tickled his peeny, and, because she was so smart, combined the words in her head, like an expression explorer of old.

Slickled, she thought. I’m slickling his peeny.

No matter how brilliant her wordplay, the result was the same. Gary’s peeny was now erect. It felt like a quality bar of peeny-scented soap in her hands. Without warning she gave it a swift headbutt, because men liked that. All men liked that.

“Phwoa, Melinda. That’s the good stuff. That’s the stuff that makes me forget about my problems.”

Melissa derived satisfaction from this comment, despite the mangled pronunciation of her name. she could feel her horny levels rising to 30% and her hooha was getting right slimey with anticipation of participation.

“Gary, me need sex now inside please.” Damn! Melissa thought. I wish there was a better way to say that!

Gary was only too eager to comply. He wrenched his peeny away from Melissa’s grubby paws and thrust inside her hooha with a thunderous orgasm. She was pregnant, but that could be dealt with in the morning, provided she was still alive.

“Outstanding sutff, Melanie,” Gary chortled. “I know I could just go to sleep now, but I would like to continue satisfying you, sans peeny.” Gary nudged downward and his peeny was nowhere to be seen.

“What in mind you have eeee?”

“Just sit back and relax, kitty cat.”

Melissa did just that, falling back onto the bed and stretching her “perfect 7″ body, eager for Gary’s attention. He started workinghis magic immediately and she felt an all-too familiar heat rising from her breast. Gary was crouched over top and pooping all over her unbelievably average body.

“Gary, so stinky.”

“That’s just the poop, baby. Let it just work its magic.”

“I … I can’t see anything.”

“That’s because you’re blind now, Mildred”